Hospital Bloopers

(A friend sent me these recently)

I particularly like number six and number twenty-three. Enjoy!


>1. The patient refused autopsy.
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>2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
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>3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
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>4. Note: patient here-recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake.
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>5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
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>6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
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>7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
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>8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
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>9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
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>10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
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>11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
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>12. She is numb from her toes down.
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>13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
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>14. The skin was moist and dry.
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>15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
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>16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
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>17.Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
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>18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
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>19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
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>20. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
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>21. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
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>22. Skin: somewhat pale but present
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>23. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
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Plotting, framing and studying favorites

Blimey it is hot. Thank goodness for a few air-conditioned rooms.

My studio has AC so lately I am up there a lot. Comfort breeds productivity. Thick air breeds thick thinking and naps.

Today I framed six pieces (frameless glass as I have at least forty I need to do for the exhibit... can't go broke in the process.. they look great thanks to creative paper working on my part). Now to think about writing bits.

But I had a bit of a breakthrough on my nursery rhyme heavily-reliant-on-illustrations-to-text project. I reviewed Each Peach Pear Plum and The Jolly Postman (fantastic books) and others to give me a visual beginning and end, to tie up the sequence. (Another kind of framing perhaps?) Plus I love me my cast full of characters. Yes, in picture books. Always have. They need not be described. But they are referred to and do things I notice and go back to over and over again.)

This project is turning out to be more than I had planned but WTH... I intend to make it work... words and art. Why not. It may take a while but I think it will turn out well.. with patience.


Gettin' stuff done..........................

I got it down... all my characters and their worlds, and how the whole thing works!


Update as of early August: FINISHED first draft of 14 fractured and themed rhymes, got some illos done. FIgured out the approach, the introduction and the end. Got the characters and scenes... now to dummy! (This project has been simmering for over two years.)

The plight of tigers

I just read a writer's blog post about the plight of tigers in the wild. There are only a few thousand or so in left existence. They are being poached for every possible use of their anatomy. I find it horrific.

The rest are in zoos and while I love zoos I always feel depressed when I see the big cats pace. They must feel humiliated. I would were I a big, regal beautiful beast. (The gorillas just throw things at you as in "you deserve it, you voyeur"... but the tigers just pace as in "get me outta here.") I know they are spared from the rugdom and cared for by the keeperdom, and absolutely loved by spectators... but still.

Now more than ever I have to write this story. They say to write from inspiration. That is always the best place to start. But before I do so I have to let go of the anger I feel towards the greedy killers. Otherwise, it'll just be an angry response. And that is not a good place to start.

Soon, I will talk about giraffes and how I feel about them. (They are so cool... yes they are!) And our experience with them.

Till then...think about nature as being here for you now, to enjoy as it is in alive and kicking. Not something to kill or destroy (physically or mentally). Please respect it.

My World and Welcome to It

Remember that show with William Windom... the cartoonist (he really is NOT a cartoonist... he is an actor.) EDIT: Based on Thurber. Good ole "One-eyed Thurber".

And his daughter with the braids... what's her name?

no. Me neither. EDIT: Her name was Lisa Gerritson and she was a pistol!

Well. You (we) are (were) too young... or just lost that segment of our over crowded-minds. Ahem. That was a great show. Windom's cartoons kinda morphed into live action. Dry and funny and... wise.

The show never took off but it did maintain a viable presence thanks to side-by-side air-time (by Sondheim) ...no no by Bewitched... I mean Bewitched (great show... Darrin... Tabitha... Sabrina...) campy like most shows of its day but fun nonetheless...EDIT: That show won two Emmys. (Oops.I wrote too soon!) So it DID take off.

I digress...

I LOVE making worlds in my art and I think it one of my strong points. My World and Welcome to It. You got me.

And I proudly jest that I am completing (illustrating and writing) two more worlds for my In-Progress picture book, and it is so much fun and working well. Check off a summer project.

Caveat: Never post until you've got the answers. Smirk.