Showing posts with label Writing and inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing and inspiration. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

You learn something new every day

or you knew something learned every day.

(I love the second-to-last one, especially.)

From a friend:


Paraprosdokian sentences are figures of speech that use an unexpected ending to a series or phrase.

Some examples would be...





I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike
>and asked for forgiveness.
>
>Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with
>experience.
>
>Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a
>garage makes you a car.
>
>The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
>
>Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until
>you hear them speak.
>
>If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
>
>We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
>
>War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
>
>Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit
>salad.
>
>The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
>
>To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
>
>A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
>
>Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train
>people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
>
>I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
>
>I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
>
>Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check
>when you say the paint is wet?
>
>Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for
>Miss America ?
>
>A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
>
>You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive
>twice.
>
>Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
>
>Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
>
> Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
>
>I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
>
>You're never too old to learn something stupid.
>
>To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
>
>Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination
>whatsoever.
>
>Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


>