Wednesday, September 29, 2010

You learn something new every day

or you knew something learned every day.

(I love the second-to-last one, especially.)

From a friend:


Paraprosdokian sentences are figures of speech that use an unexpected ending to a series or phrase.

Some examples would be...





I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike
>and asked for forgiveness.
>
>Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with
>experience.
>
>Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a
>garage makes you a car.
>
>The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
>
>Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until
>you hear them speak.
>
>If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
>
>We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
>
>War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
>
>Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit
>salad.
>
>The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
>
>To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
>
>A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
>
>Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train
>people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
>
>I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
>
>I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
>
>Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check
>when you say the paint is wet?
>
>Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for
>Miss America ?
>
>A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
>
>You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive
>twice.
>
>Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
>
>Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
>
> Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
>
>I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
>
>You're never too old to learn something stupid.
>
>To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
>
>Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination
>whatsoever.
>
>Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


>

2 comments:

Laura said...

I think these are great! I particularly like the garage/car one -- very clever turns of phrase. Yes, humor is important. Whether you're a writer or an illustrator or someone working on an ending.

pudders said...

Yes, the garage one is excellent and so true. I can't write/illustrate without humor... no matter how subtle. It doesn't have to be a laugh a minute but it does have to make a presence and hopefully some sort of a statement.