Friday, March 26, 2010

Take that Look Off Your Face

and put it into your characters.

Do you get restless when your illustrated characters possess blank and vacuous physiognomies?

Do you droop when you produce rigid stick figures?

Then it is time for you to get Hands-fired!. Hands-fired! is the newest way to get some life into your stone-faced statue like subjects.

Simply install Hands-fired! on the ends of your pencils, markers...what have you and let it go to work. Instantly, magically your figures will come to life (and so will your fingers). They may even start moving off the page and jump into your lap. That should wake you up.

Hands-fired! has been discovered around the world by thousands of uninspired illustrators. You don't even need your brains anymore. Simply install Hands-fired! on the ends of your pencils, markers...what have you and let it go to work.

The beauty of Hands-fired! is that it has a life of its own. Even when you don't. Those kids nagging at you? That dog needs walking? That oven door blew off again? You can even leave Hands-fired! alone for a brief moment. Unlike your children, your dog or your door.

*(And when you come back you will miraculously have several animated characters on your double page spread. Some needing snacks, walks or naps.)

Hands-fired! keeps on going even when your hand cramps so hard you feel like you'll never,ever lift a drawing utensil againsil.

*We are working on the second installment of Hands-fired! so that you don't even have to hold the pencil. You turn it on and it just keeps on going.

Hands-fired! was tested by the brilliant creator of Where's Waldo. You think he did all those people all by himself? Think again. He had a plan. Or perhaps numbness and tingling in his thumbs and his fingering.

And we at Hands-fired! can attest to that. Because we hired Martin Handford to invent our new Hands-fired!. So get some expression into your work! Better your gestures with Hands-fired!!

Buy Hands-fired! now! And put some fire into your characters. And lay-off your hands!

(All those years of writing ad copy have finally taken their toll.)

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