Right now it is no pressure as I am doing spec and random art samples only, and if I ever submit again, mss. The writing is going to stay here, with me for now. Submitting both is becoming too much. Maybe because my stories are not hooky enough...yet. But my stories are still breathing and maturing. And I like them. I never disliked my own writing. Ever. And I compare a lot to what is out there and I just don't get it. But maybe I am an idiot. I don't know.
I might get brave and send a dummy to AAL, but I am so not sure and insecure and...and...and...
Once that contracted deadline looms the pressure will show its face. A flushed face I remember all too well. My low blood pressure will begin to stabilize.
Going back to work will serve its purpose here, if not for preparing me once more for deadlines. It took me a month to get back into a rigorous work routine. And to feel confident and productive.
And that doesn't mean dinner on the table or laundry in the washer.